Have you ever dated a fiercely independent woman? Did you write her off, because she said it as it is? I won’t be surprised if most of the men reading this said ‘yes’ in their heads. The problem isn’t with being an Indian man, the problem is deep rooted in the anatomy of the society.
A man must earn, be the provider, be the stronger one, shouldn’t cry, shouldn’t be emotional… whatt??? Have we created robots out of men? Because now, he cannot be retuned. Is being a strong woman the answer? Now, firstly, let me clear the definition of a ‘Strong woman”. A strong, independent woman is often (well, always) synonymous with being self obsessed, unemotional, a non-carer etcetera etcetera. My dictionary says a strong woman is a badass where needed. Period.
Your man asks you to move cities and countries with him for the sake of his ‘job’…. You move, of course! Isn’t that what you’re expected to do? If you’re married…. and in a typical North Indian family (lo behold)…. the mummyji and papaji are ‘khush’, patiji is ‘khush’ and the we all are khush! A happy family…. who cares if you are wreathing within? But dare you turn around and refuse to switch because you’re career matters…. the mummy papa pati trio beat a different beat. I say, dance to it…. unapologetically.
Cancelling a date to meet deadlines at work? Declining a quickie because you’re ‘not in the mood’? You earn more than him? You spend when on a date? aren’t just questions…. they are a memorandum of the fact that a woman’s independence is effective…. positively or not, is another matter. Let me tell you, I have come across a zillion posts on the social media, the likes of “Never let your crown down” ….. a lot of men being enthusiastic participants there! Impressive I would think, till I met a few who belonged to the frat that wants to stay effective (but only on social media)…… the internal front looks like an antonym.
Love in the age of feminism isn’t all rosy! All boiling down to ‘men will be men’. You earn well? You live alone? You are the queen of your life?You are strong and independent? Then Love isn’t what should be on your radar, because chances are, you may never(easily) find it! How can Love be cruel enough to judge women on the basis of their independence?… (read badass).
A woman having a career (and running a house), a bank balance (and knowing the mutual funds on her finger tips), a car (and knowing how to change it’s tyre), a house (and knowing how to fix the lights)…. is a reality. So, who needs a man? No, I am not writing men off here. We need men in our lives…. but terms and conditions apply. Respect her decisions and you’ve got the ‘lakshmi’, ‘parvati’, ‘kali’…. all in one neat package!
Hear all ye men…. Stepping into Love for a strong woman isn’t a need…. it is an addition… to an already blissful life! So, if you men aren’t man enough to step up your amp, go be a weeny elsewhere, because this woman isn’t one in your league. She’s got enough amp to leave you high and dry if you slip up.
Does this mean your search to find Mr. Right might take a little longer than usual?…… You say!
So, Babuji dheere chalna……